by Alice Rizzi, licensed clinical psychologist, Psyche.co 

It’s not wrong to wonder whether your therapist is helping – it could be a useful signal. Here’s what to do next

It’s not unusual to get a few sessions into therapy – or even more – and find that something doesn’t feel quite right. Maybe your therapist says something that doesn’t sit well with you. Maybe they don’t seem to ‘get’ you. You might leave your sessions feeling drained, or unheard. Or perhaps the doubts are quieter, but still you start to wonder: Is this person actually helping me?

Doubting whether your therapist is right for you can be uncomfortable and confusing, especially if you are new to therapy. You might feel guilty or disloyal for doubting them, or uncertain about whether your concerns are valid. But doubts are normal and worth paying attention to. In this Guide, I’ll help you approach them with curiosity and care so you can take the most informed next step.

As a clinical psychologist, I believe therapy should feel safe, supportive and genuinely helpful. If it doesn’t, it’s important to notice and honour your doubts. Sometimes talking about them with your therapist leads to greater clarity and connection; other times, your doubts help you recognise that a different therapist or approach might be a better fit. Either way, listening to these signals can guide you toward the kind of support you need to thrive.

Finding the right fit

When I speak to a potential therapy client for the first time, I always tell them: fit is paramount. ‘Fit’ refers to how well a therapist and client match in ways that foster trust, progress and wellbeing. It’s not about whether your therapist is perfect (no one is), but whether you feel seen, heard and supported in the ways that matter to you.

The strength of the therapeutic alliance – your working relationship with your therapist – is one of the most consistent predictors of positive therapy outcomes. Ensuring that your therapist is a good fit for you will greatly contribute to your alliance throughout treatment.

Sometimes, doubts about a therapist stem from a lack of fit. A good fit involves factors such as:

  • Expertise – whether the therapist has experience with your goals or problems.
  • Personality – the therapist’s tone and energy, and whether you feel comfortable with them.
  • Schedule and fee – whether they are available when you are and charge a fee that you can comfortably pay (or they accept your health insurance).
  • Identity-related preferences – some find it helpful to work with a therapist who shares an important aspect of their background or perspective, such as age, gender, race, culture, political views or sexual orientation.
  • Therapeutic style – one therapist might offer guidance and practical strategies, while a different one might focus more on helping you reflect, gain insight and make your own connections.

What matters most will depend on where you are in your life and what you need right now. If you’re in crisis, you might prioritise getting seen quickly by someone competent, even if they’re not a great long-term fit. If you’re seeking deeper healing or identity-based support, shared experiences might seem more essential to you. You’re allowed to want what you want.

Aside from having a therapist who’s a good fit for you, it’s important to protect yourself from potential harm. While most therapists are ethical professionals, sometimes providers cross boundaries, act disrespectfully or even behave unethically. If that happens, it’s only natural to question whether the therapist is right for you (or for anyone).

About the author; Alice Rizzi is a licensed clinical psychologist in New York and a Florida telehealth provider. She specialises in helping ambitious professionals break free from stress, anxiety and OCD. She is also a mindful embodiment coach and the founder of the virtual mindfulness studio Together Mindful.

Keywords; psychotherapy, healing